• Your home contains 8 cages, 10 play stands, 6 swings, and a bed.
• You are zoned as a rainforest wildlife sanctuary by your city.
• You consider collard greens, dandelion greens, parsnips, mustard green, and escarole to be common vegetables.
• You go through the store checkout with 18 different fruits and veggies (none of which you plan to eat).
• The person behind you at the checkout asks how you prepare the collard greens you're holding and you say that you haven't the slightest idea.
• You have to explain to the lawn care company that you like dandelions in your yard.
• You see absolutely nothing wrong with having every piece of furniture in your living room topped with cages while your lamp is on the floor, and you use a lap desk because the desk itself holds your parrot's toy box and broken toys that need repair.
• Redecorating the house means finding a way to squeeze in another bird cage.
• Your garage contains extra cages, play stands, toys, but no car.
• You've ever answered the phone with a parrot on your head.
• You tell people on the phone, "I can't talk now; I've got a parrot on my head."
• People overhearing your parrot discussions think you're talking about your spouse.
• You drive around on recycling day looking for the biggest piles of newspaper to steal and feel guilty when people look out their windows and pity you.
• You want world peace, to save the environment, a cure for AIDs and a better way to clean bird poop.
• You have vases full of feathers instead of flowers.
• You have 3 TV's and none of them are for you to use.
• Your CD collection contains opera, classical, and speech lessons, none of which you listen to.
• You haven't owned an alarm clock in 10 years, but never get up late.
• When your at Home Depot your busy dreaming about building new play areas.
• You have no carpet in your house, anywhere.
• You shower in the guest bathroom, because the master bath is too full of perches.
• Your friends come over for dinner and offer to make a salad, to which you reply "none of those vegetables are for humans!"
• Your walls are lined with Plexiglas, your ceilings are lined with Plexiglas, and your floors are covered in plastic runners, and they are all still stained.
• You have to replace your vacuum cleaner at least twice a year.

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